Funding

Let me start with I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EXPENSIVE IT IS TO ADOPT!!!!  Okay, now I feel a little teeny weeny bit better.  I'm so frustrated today!  So many things are piling up on DH and I and it feels like there's more bad than good here lately.  Don't get me wrong, I still truly feel blessed for the life God has given me and I give thanks daily for those blessings.  This is just one of those days that I wanna bury my head in a pillow in a dark room all by my lonesome...and just cry. 

When I found out 15 years ago there was no chance I could conceive and carry a baby I was only 18 years old.  It was rough.  It was tough.  BUT I prayed my way through and know with my whole heart that THAT just wasn't the plan God had for me.  I refuse to think that God didn't want me to be a mother.  This is where I struggle.  I don't know what plan He has for me in this department.  I only know that the longing I have to hold MY precious child is only getting stronger.  I pray.  I pray that God will bring me MY precious miracle in the form He sees fit.  It's hard not knowing what that way is. 

Several years ago I was a foster mommy.  While wanting to help the children who belonged to the state I was also in it for selfish reasons.  I wanted to find the child that was supposed to be mine.  The child that needed a mommy and daddy and a house full of love.  I did meet some absolutely amazing kiddos as 7 of them passed through my home and were reunited with family members.  This also left me with more of a longing than ever to have my own child.  I didn't and don't like an empty home.  I enjoyed diaper changes, baths, nightly feedings, etc. that I got to experience with my foster babies.  When the kiddos left they took a piece of me with them that can only be filled by "my" child.

So I was left with 2 choices.  I could either adopt or do surrogacy.  I met with a highly recommended doctor at a fertility clinic who assured me it wouldn't take anymore than a couple of rounds to be successful.  While he "assured" me there's still no guarantee that oodles of money would've been spent and empty arms being the end result.  So, DH and I decided adoption was the choice that best fit our family.  We have been waiting a little over 5 months now and we are so happy with how fast the time has gone.  Our only major obstacle now is the financial aspect of adoption.  We are on the waiting list for an infant through an open domestic adoption.  While we are okay financially, we are just that...OK.  We are both teachers and work harder than what we make, but we don't complain because we both love what we do.  We have a passion to teach kids, to love kids, and to be a part of the molding kids of our future. 

Here's what I'm asking of my friends, both Blogger and Facebook.  I've created a "donate" button on the top right of my blog for those of you that would be able to donate in any way.  Please don't think I'm begging for money (although it seems like I am) as I know God will find a way to provide.  I only ask that if you are led to donate that you do and in return.  Thank you so much for even taking the time to read my Blog and follow my journey of trying to becoming a mommy. 

5 Months And Updates

Today makes 5 months of officially waiting for DH and I!!!  Time is just traveling by and I attribute most of that to being so busy at work!  Since I started teaching, the years have just flown by.  Literally.  I keep saying by the end of next school year I should def be a mommy (based on the average wait time that would be 1.5 years).  We are hoping we get the call sooner, but as I've said in many posts before, we know it's all in His timing.  So we wait.  And we continue praying for patience.

I haven't blogged since March 4 and although I've been meaning to it seems these last few weeks have been quite challenging.  Here's a "quick" update...

*DH and I lost one of our students who was so very special to us
*We bought a house (new construction) and have had to pick out all types of designs for everything
*We are less than 2 weeks away from Mexico (Spring Break)
*We have missed school for snow and for flooding
*My sweet dachshund passed away from fluid building up around her heart
*We are busy planning for my younger sister's baby shower that will be next weekend

And for now, I think that's all of the "major" updates!  It's been a very busy few weeks.  I've had emotions that were high and emotions that were low.  I've leaned completely on God for His help dealing with so many different things (on top of my job and testing and not enough time to cover material and blah blah blah).  I know everything will fall into place as it should.  Sometimes it's just comforting to ask for an extra prayer...  

Our Profile Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

I haven't viewed our profile book in awhile, but it's been on my mind.  Tonight, I decided to pull it back up and repost it.  I wanted to look back through it myself, plus give all my blogger friends a chance to get to know DH and I a little more.  This book is very important to us and we were so excited to have completed it.  As we near waiting 5 months for our forever family I'm feeling very blessed tonight to have the partner I do for this journey :)

While I'm Waiting

A couple of years ago I signed up to do foster care.  I wanted to do foster care ultimately to adopt out of the system.  There are so many children in the custody of the state that need to be in a home where someone will love them and care for them while their parents are trying to "fix" whatever it was that went wrong in the process of raising their child(ren).  I was blessed.  I had a placement of 3 of the most amazing children I could have ever met!  I became friends with the lady who gave them life and tried so hard to get them back home.  She did.  We all worked as a team to provide stability to these children during a trying time and yet we managed to form a friendship that extended beyond these 3 precious children.  I enjoyed having these little ones in my house for months!  I got to hear laughter, paint toenails, play restaurant, and develop a love even more greater than I thought for these little people.  It made me realize how much I truly wanted to be a mommy.  It gave me a "taste" of what that moment would be like.

Along this journey I met an amazing mentor who I consider to be a dear friend.  She went above and beyond to make sure my emotions were in tact, my voice was heard, and made me see the experience of fostering as a beautiful thing.  We shared our experiences with infertility.  We shared our longing to be mommies.  She was fortunate enough to adopt her sweet baby girl and is now a forever mommy.  Earlier this evening she shared a song with me.  This song was a testament during her trying time to become a mommy.  I feel honored to know her and for her to have shared her story with me.  I've added this song to my blog and if you click on the playlist on the right side of my blog on the song "While I'm Waiting" you will feel what's it's like to walk in my shoes.  This song will be my new lifeline while I wait to get that call saying I will become a mommy, saying I've been matched with a birth mother.  We are now at 4 months, 1 week, and 1 day waiting.  DH and I are still hanging in there and praying that God's will be done and that He see fit for us to raise a child together.

Enjoy the song and God Bless :)

Weekend Wrap-Up

Another weekend has come...and gone.  This weekend we did accomplish several things and made some plans with some friends for an upcoming concert.  One of my oldest and dearest friends invited DH and I to join her and her (somewhat new) boyfriend at upcoming concert.  I've never met this guy and I look forward to seeing how well they mesh.  I love "L" and only want the best for her and she deserves a great guy to share her journey with!

DH hates country music, but I can say it's my favorite genre!  Without hesitation we booked our tickets to join "L" and her boy for a Brad Paisley concert this summer!!!!  I'm sooooooo excited for this!!!!!!  It's a good thing my hubs loves me so much :) 

One of my good friends started a crafty business on the side when she isn't busy with her teaching job.  Recently, she's been creating tons of new and different items that I just adore!  I'm a freak when it comes to monogramming and when I seen a wreath she had made for a different classroom I knew I just HAD to have one for mine!  This is the final creation...

On Saturday night, DH and I traveled to my sister's house to celebrate my nephew's 18th birthday.  It's so hard to believe that my only nephew has now entered adulthood.  He is such an awesome kiddo!  From the beginning he's had a fiery spirit that has captured everyone in my little family.  He will be a great uncle to my niece on the way and to our future child.  I can't wait to see the road that God has planned for him!

Waiting 4 Months For Our Blessing

Today makes 4 months that DH and I have been "waiting" for our child.  We both are excited that time just keeps ticking by.  Even though I'm sure we'll have a change of mind once we get our baby and will want to savor every moment.  We have started talking more about baby names and have even looked at different nursery settings for baby boys and baby girls since we don't know what the sex will be (nor do we care).  We are just so ready for that call that says we have been chosen by a birth mother!

This past weekend DH and I shared a night together in "the big city" having dinner, dancing and yummy food on a boat with about 40 other couples.  I found this Valentine's getaway a few months back and immediately booked it.  It exceeded both our expectations and we both agreed to make this a yearly ritual for our Valentine's date night.  Below are some pictures from the amazing night!

                                                                My handsome husband

                                                                           Our table

                                                             The view from our table

If anyone who visits my blog lives in KY I highly suggest this experience!

Happy Day Of Love!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day of sharing love and kindness to those around you.  I woke up this morning, showered, and came out of the bathroom to find this letter from my amazing husband.  He loves to write me letters almost as much as I love reading them.  I can't express how amazing this man has been to me.  More than anything I find a security in so many ways with him.  I love that he is writing about our family-to-be.  I love that he is as excited as me to start filling our house with children and to be parents together.  I see so much in what we have and where our path will take us.  Every word in this letter I hold close to my heart because it's what I've wanted and prayed for for so long.  Enjoy!