Still Waiting...

Tomorrow marks 10 months DH and I have been waiting for our call to be matched with our birth mother.  Life has been crazy lately and when I stopped to look at the calendar I was pleasantly surprised that our journey has been continuously moving along at what seems like a rapid pace.  School is back in session so DH and I spend most of our time playing school mommy and daddy to our 150 students.  We love our school family and we love the fact that we get to share in the daily experiences of molding children.  BUT we still are awaiting "the call" to say we've found OUR child (or our child has found us).

We've also been very busy with a few other things, but because blog land is so public I won't go into much detail there.  My life has always been an open book and it still is, but there's one piece of my life I'll wait to share until a later date.  I'll just say it's also keeping DH and I busy, but we are loving every part of it!

I got to visit with my beautiful beautiful niece this weekend and loved seeing her beautiful face!  Miss Willow is something else and she has added so much love to our small little family.  After my nephew was born (18 years ago) we had to wait a long time to welcome another little one.  Here's a recent picture of her and I...

I seen this outfit for her and couldn't resist!  She sure is loved beyond words and I look forward to our children growing up together!

I hope everyone has a wonderful week and remember YOU.ARE.BLESSED.

9 Months

A couple of days ago DH and I reached a milestone in our "waiting" era.  We reached the 9 month mark.  For me, this is a huge milestone for a couple of reasons.  For one, if I were able to get pregnant, we would've been "due" to have our baby.  In a hospital.  With labor pains.  Epidurals.  Family.  Blah blah blah.  I think about how fast the time has went and imagine how fast my own pregnancy would've went if only I were able to conceive. 

We have submitted a complete makeover to our online profile through our adoption agency.  We changed our birth parent letter and traded out all of our pictures to replace the old boring ones with new ones showing off some of our adventures together.  We don't know what birth mothers look for.  We've been told my other friends who have adopted that sometimes it's the "weirdest" things that make the birth mother connect to an adoptive family.  Whatever the case may be we felt after looking at the same online profile over and over that it was time for an overhaul!

One last thing...If you are a praying person at all, I ask you to please take a moment and say a prayer for a special little boy.  I'm hoping to be able to share this story later, after all the details are worked out, but in the meantime all I can say is please pray that God grants him love and hope for all his years to come. 

Hope everyone has had a wonderful Sunday! :)

Time Keeps Moving

Today makes 8 months that DH and I have been officially waiting to be matched with our forever child!  Our social worker (Mrs. B) had to come to our new home today so she could do a walk thru of the new place and ensure all requirements were met.  We were excited to see her this morning.  Any communication we have with her connects us to the reality that we are really doing this.  We are really on our way to building our family.  I'm really going to be a mom!  We still don't know when our child will be placed with us, but we are hopeful and are strong in God's will that His timing will reveal itself. 

In other news, the laziness has officially set it with this whole summer off thing.  I seriously need to get back into my classroom and start working on new ideas for the upcoming school year.  It's so easy to "work on things tomorrow."  lol In my case though, tomorrow turns into days and weeks.  I need to step it up and get ta gettin!

I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the week and hopefully I'll be blogging soon with exciting news!!!

Where Should I Begin...

Sooooooo many new things have happened in our lives in the past 1.5 months (my last blog).  This doesn't surprise me since EVERYTHING with DH and I moves at rapid speed! lol

*New Thing 1*:  DH and I are working on Week 4 at our new home.  We decided to take the plunge and purchase a home that was bigger so that when "Baby B" comes along it won't be such a tight squeeze for space.  We purchased a home that we LOVE and have been working on getting everything situated just the way we want it.

*New Thing 2*:  DH and I decided to move forward with foster care.  Foster care is something I hold very dear to my heart.  I have witnessed 7 children come in and out of my home and and return to family members while previously being a foster mommy before I met DH.  I have always been passionate about it.  Working with children everyday in my profession I see what the need is for good, stable homes for these children.  There just aren't enough!  Ultimately, we want to adopt out of foster care (along with our adoption agency).  We would love to have several children and will pray God sees fit for us to do so.

*New Thing 3*:  We have been officially "waiting" for a match through our adoption agency for 7.5 months now.  I have spoken to the social workers several times via email just asking for updates with our profile.  There have been several birthmoms view our profile thus far, but for whatever reason we weren't matched.  This is ok.  We know God has hand picked our child for us and when the time is right He will reveal the child to us.  So it continues to be a waiting game...aka Test In Patience.

*New Thing 4*:  DH and I both survived this past school year and are now out for the summer!!!!!  This last group of kiddos were a challenged (to say the least) but we all worked together to help develop these children and prepare them for the years to come.  Some days it was a struggle, but others it was a breeze.  I must say, I've had some interesting stories from this group! lol

I plan to get back in the swing of blogging full time again.  I've missed it.  I've missed expressing my thoughts.  I've missed connecting with my Blog Friends and reading your stories about daily life experiences.  I've just missed YOU!

Again, for those of you that do take the time to read my blog please click to "Join" me over on the right side and I'll do the same for you in return.  I love connecting with you guys! 

Blog Changes

I never have been computer savvy by any means.  Since I started this blog to document our adoption journey I've became more and more envious of those that have these cute little fancy blogs.  I WANT ONE!!!  I've searched through tutorials and apparently I'm not a very good "Googler" either because I'm just not finding user friendly information.  I want to "bedazzle" my blog and make it stand out.  I want my future child to look back and read my blog and be fascinated with what his/her momma can do with social networking.  I want to add simple buttons and links.  It's sooooo frustrating!!!! lol

If anyone out in blog land can offer some website or help me out in some way with my page I would GREATLY appreciate it!  I'm currently trying to add a button (I think that's what they're called) to the side of my page for a second fundraiser I am starting and I can't figure out how to display a button that will link to the fundraising page.  Please help if you can!  In the meantime...please feel free to click on the link below and shop away through Thirty-One as we try to raise money through fundraiser #1 :)

https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/eventhome.aspx?eventId=E3107691&from=MYEVENTS

Happy Shopping! :)

Funding

Let me start with I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EXPENSIVE IT IS TO ADOPT!!!!  Okay, now I feel a little teeny weeny bit better.  I'm so frustrated today!  So many things are piling up on DH and I and it feels like there's more bad than good here lately.  Don't get me wrong, I still truly feel blessed for the life God has given me and I give thanks daily for those blessings.  This is just one of those days that I wanna bury my head in a pillow in a dark room all by my lonesome...and just cry. 

When I found out 15 years ago there was no chance I could conceive and carry a baby I was only 18 years old.  It was rough.  It was tough.  BUT I prayed my way through and know with my whole heart that THAT just wasn't the plan God had for me.  I refuse to think that God didn't want me to be a mother.  This is where I struggle.  I don't know what plan He has for me in this department.  I only know that the longing I have to hold MY precious child is only getting stronger.  I pray.  I pray that God will bring me MY precious miracle in the form He sees fit.  It's hard not knowing what that way is. 

Several years ago I was a foster mommy.  While wanting to help the children who belonged to the state I was also in it for selfish reasons.  I wanted to find the child that was supposed to be mine.  The child that needed a mommy and daddy and a house full of love.  I did meet some absolutely amazing kiddos as 7 of them passed through my home and were reunited with family members.  This also left me with more of a longing than ever to have my own child.  I didn't and don't like an empty home.  I enjoyed diaper changes, baths, nightly feedings, etc. that I got to experience with my foster babies.  When the kiddos left they took a piece of me with them that can only be filled by "my" child.

So I was left with 2 choices.  I could either adopt or do surrogacy.  I met with a highly recommended doctor at a fertility clinic who assured me it wouldn't take anymore than a couple of rounds to be successful.  While he "assured" me there's still no guarantee that oodles of money would've been spent and empty arms being the end result.  So, DH and I decided adoption was the choice that best fit our family.  We have been waiting a little over 5 months now and we are so happy with how fast the time has gone.  Our only major obstacle now is the financial aspect of adoption.  We are on the waiting list for an infant through an open domestic adoption.  While we are okay financially, we are just that...OK.  We are both teachers and work harder than what we make, but we don't complain because we both love what we do.  We have a passion to teach kids, to love kids, and to be a part of the molding kids of our future. 

Here's what I'm asking of my friends, both Blogger and Facebook.  I've created a "donate" button on the top right of my blog for those of you that would be able to donate in any way.  Please don't think I'm begging for money (although it seems like I am) as I know God will find a way to provide.  I only ask that if you are led to donate that you do and in return.  Thank you so much for even taking the time to read my Blog and follow my journey of trying to becoming a mommy. 

5 Months And Updates

Today makes 5 months of officially waiting for DH and I!!!  Time is just traveling by and I attribute most of that to being so busy at work!  Since I started teaching, the years have just flown by.  Literally.  I keep saying by the end of next school year I should def be a mommy (based on the average wait time that would be 1.5 years).  We are hoping we get the call sooner, but as I've said in many posts before, we know it's all in His timing.  So we wait.  And we continue praying for patience.

I haven't blogged since March 4 and although I've been meaning to it seems these last few weeks have been quite challenging.  Here's a "quick" update...

*DH and I lost one of our students who was so very special to us
*We bought a house (new construction) and have had to pick out all types of designs for everything
*We are less than 2 weeks away from Mexico (Spring Break)
*We have missed school for snow and for flooding
*My sweet dachshund passed away from fluid building up around her heart
*We are busy planning for my younger sister's baby shower that will be next weekend

And for now, I think that's all of the "major" updates!  It's been a very busy few weeks.  I've had emotions that were high and emotions that were low.  I've leaned completely on God for His help dealing with so many different things (on top of my job and testing and not enough time to cover material and blah blah blah).  I know everything will fall into place as it should.  Sometimes it's just comforting to ask for an extra prayer...  

Our Profile Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

I haven't viewed our profile book in awhile, but it's been on my mind.  Tonight, I decided to pull it back up and repost it.  I wanted to look back through it myself, plus give all my blogger friends a chance to get to know DH and I a little more.  This book is very important to us and we were so excited to have completed it.  As we near waiting 5 months for our forever family I'm feeling very blessed tonight to have the partner I do for this journey :)

While I'm Waiting

A couple of years ago I signed up to do foster care.  I wanted to do foster care ultimately to adopt out of the system.  There are so many children in the custody of the state that need to be in a home where someone will love them and care for them while their parents are trying to "fix" whatever it was that went wrong in the process of raising their child(ren).  I was blessed.  I had a placement of 3 of the most amazing children I could have ever met!  I became friends with the lady who gave them life and tried so hard to get them back home.  She did.  We all worked as a team to provide stability to these children during a trying time and yet we managed to form a friendship that extended beyond these 3 precious children.  I enjoyed having these little ones in my house for months!  I got to hear laughter, paint toenails, play restaurant, and develop a love even more greater than I thought for these little people.  It made me realize how much I truly wanted to be a mommy.  It gave me a "taste" of what that moment would be like.

Along this journey I met an amazing mentor who I consider to be a dear friend.  She went above and beyond to make sure my emotions were in tact, my voice was heard, and made me see the experience of fostering as a beautiful thing.  We shared our experiences with infertility.  We shared our longing to be mommies.  She was fortunate enough to adopt her sweet baby girl and is now a forever mommy.  Earlier this evening she shared a song with me.  This song was a testament during her trying time to become a mommy.  I feel honored to know her and for her to have shared her story with me.  I've added this song to my blog and if you click on the playlist on the right side of my blog on the song "While I'm Waiting" you will feel what's it's like to walk in my shoes.  This song will be my new lifeline while I wait to get that call saying I will become a mommy, saying I've been matched with a birth mother.  We are now at 4 months, 1 week, and 1 day waiting.  DH and I are still hanging in there and praying that God's will be done and that He see fit for us to raise a child together.

Enjoy the song and God Bless :)

Weekend Wrap-Up

Another weekend has come...and gone.  This weekend we did accomplish several things and made some plans with some friends for an upcoming concert.  One of my oldest and dearest friends invited DH and I to join her and her (somewhat new) boyfriend at upcoming concert.  I've never met this guy and I look forward to seeing how well they mesh.  I love "L" and only want the best for her and she deserves a great guy to share her journey with!

DH hates country music, but I can say it's my favorite genre!  Without hesitation we booked our tickets to join "L" and her boy for a Brad Paisley concert this summer!!!!  I'm sooooooo excited for this!!!!!!  It's a good thing my hubs loves me so much :) 

One of my good friends started a crafty business on the side when she isn't busy with her teaching job.  Recently, she's been creating tons of new and different items that I just adore!  I'm a freak when it comes to monogramming and when I seen a wreath she had made for a different classroom I knew I just HAD to have one for mine!  This is the final creation...

On Saturday night, DH and I traveled to my sister's house to celebrate my nephew's 18th birthday.  It's so hard to believe that my only nephew has now entered adulthood.  He is such an awesome kiddo!  From the beginning he's had a fiery spirit that has captured everyone in my little family.  He will be a great uncle to my niece on the way and to our future child.  I can't wait to see the road that God has planned for him!

Waiting 4 Months For Our Blessing

Today makes 4 months that DH and I have been "waiting" for our child.  We both are excited that time just keeps ticking by.  Even though I'm sure we'll have a change of mind once we get our baby and will want to savor every moment.  We have started talking more about baby names and have even looked at different nursery settings for baby boys and baby girls since we don't know what the sex will be (nor do we care).  We are just so ready for that call that says we have been chosen by a birth mother!

This past weekend DH and I shared a night together in "the big city" having dinner, dancing and yummy food on a boat with about 40 other couples.  I found this Valentine's getaway a few months back and immediately booked it.  It exceeded both our expectations and we both agreed to make this a yearly ritual for our Valentine's date night.  Below are some pictures from the amazing night!

                                                                My handsome husband

                                                                           Our table

                                                             The view from our table

If anyone who visits my blog lives in KY I highly suggest this experience!

Happy Day Of Love!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day of sharing love and kindness to those around you.  I woke up this morning, showered, and came out of the bathroom to find this letter from my amazing husband.  He loves to write me letters almost as much as I love reading them.  I can't express how amazing this man has been to me.  More than anything I find a security in so many ways with him.  I love that he is writing about our family-to-be.  I love that he is as excited as me to start filling our house with children and to be parents together.  I see so much in what we have and where our path will take us.  Every word in this letter I hold close to my heart because it's what I've wanted and prayed for for so long.  Enjoy!

Navigating

I've had several of my friends inquire about following my blog once I started sharing our adoption journey on my personal facebook account.  I'm still kinda new at this whole "fancying up my blog" thing and hope that you all can bare with me as I try to get everything added.  I've only used my blog as a journal and to connect with other mommies that have been blessed with the gift of adoption so I haven't spent tons of time working out all the kinks.  Now that people I know personally are interested in following I promise I'll work on making it more appealing.  Thanks to everyone who has decided to take this journey with us :)

Sharing Our Journey...

I recently decided to share our journey of adoption via my personal facebook account.  In the past couple of weeks I've had 2 close friends present the possibility of private adoption because they were in a place where this was being discussed as an option.  For case #1, I'm not sure the birth mother will go the adoption route, but it still may be a possibility.  For case #2, the birth mother is very sick and may be forced to sign her rights over because she has no family. 

I don't know that anything will come of either of these cases.  It may and it may not.  Either way DH and I are remaining on the adoption waiting list.  We are currently at 108 days waiting and we know with each passing day that leads us closer to our child.  But we don't want to stop there.  We want more children.  We want a big family.  We want a house full of kiddos and all the excitement they bring!

I want to thank each one of you who has taken even a second out of your day to think about this journey DH and I are taking and our longing to become parents together.  We appreciate you thinking of us when adoption is mentioned and we are hoping to expand our family one bebe at a time :)

Prayers Please!

Yesterday I took a day off work to go visit a Dermatologist.  Four years ago I had a mole removed that was found to be Stage 2 Melanoma.  I had surgery on my lower left leg that now leave a huge hole document this journey.  Luckily all cancer was removed.  After the whole melanoma debacle I feared going back to the doctor because I just "knew" something else would be found.  So it's taken me four years to reach a point where I knew I needed to see a specialist and have my skin checked out.

My awesome hairdresser recommended a place about 45 minutes from my house.  I thought I'd give it a try.  BOY AM I GLAD I DID!!  I walked into the small office yesterday not knowing what would be found or what the dermatologist might say after checking me.  I ended up having 6 more moles removed (for a total of 21).  She didn't seem to think any of them were as serious as the last.  She sent all of them off for a biopsy just to be sure and said I would know something within 2 weeks. 

I'm asking for prayers that all tests come back cancer free!  If any of you have a "weird" place on your skin anywhere PLEASE take the time to visit a good dermatologist.  Life is too short to take any chances!

Day 100

Today makes 100 days that DH and I have been officially waiting for our child to come home!  We feel like the time has gone so smooth and so quick (thank goodness)!  We are both so busy with school (we are both teachers) that time has gone by before we knew it!  Now granted, there are moments where I think about the average wait time being 1.5-2 years and I kinda freak out a little, but I'm hoping God has a faster plan for us.  I'm praying "our" child will come home sooner.  And if not, I know it's His will.  

Please continue to pray that this journey moves along quickly so we can FINALLY become parents to a bebe together :)

Snow Day!

Today was our first snow day of the year!  DH and I got to be very lazy today and we loved every minute of it!  I slept in, took a shower, stayed in pj's until we went out to grab some Chinese for dinner, then back home to put the pj's back on.  All in all it's been a productive day!

I uploaded the pictures from our recent TN get-a-way with my family and thought I'd add them to my blog for all to see how beautiful my family is and how precious they are to me.  So here's a few of our memories...

                                                DH and I walking in downtown Gatlinburg

                                                               My mom and step-dad

                                                       My nephew and his girlfriend

                                    My youngest sister and her boyfriend (and baby in the belly)

                                          DH and I before Dixie Stampede Dinner and Show

                                              My oldest sister, mom, youngest sister, and me

                                                     My oldest sister and her husband

There is nothing in this world better then spending time with families making memories.  I love that we got to spend a weekend together!

Updates...

I realize it's been awhile since my last post.  Life has been CRAZY busy with school, organizing/scheduling/planning our schools Junior Beta Convention, house hunting, and everything involved in daily life.  I have taken the time to stop and read the current updates of those bloggers that I follow.  I do this for several reasons.  The main one being encouragement.  When I need that extra pick me up from the whole "waiting" bit of adoption.  When I need a success story of a growing family via adoption.  When I need someone else who is in my shoes struggling to be a mommy.  I can log onto my blog and find all sorts of amazing women who fit my various moods.  For that, I'm grateful.

My sisters, their families, and my parents had started planning a short get-a-way a few months back.  Because my husband and I are both teachers it made sense to build our trip around our school schedule.  MLK day allowed for us to be out of school today so this is the long weekend we scheduled our trip for.  We left on Friday after school and returned home today.  We had so much fun and made so many memories just being together.  My family is amazingly close and we don't let an opportunity pass by that we can enjoy some bonding time.  We scheduled our trip for Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge TN since it's only about 3.5 hours away.  We swam, ate REALLY good, went to Dixie Stampede, shopped, and enjoyed walking the streets of downtown Gatlinburg.  The weather was beautiful!  I wish we had more time to take trips like that.  I will always treasure these times with my family.

DH and I are still waiting on the bank to make a decision on how much we are able to spend on a home.  We have been wanting to purchase a new home since ours is small and we plan on adding several children.  We want a home that will provide space and enough room for us all to gather at the dinner table every night.  We found a home we really like, but again, we are waiting on the bank to let us know where to go from here.

Next Sunday will mark our 100 day anniversary of being on the waiting list with our adoption agency.  I'm floored at how fast time has traveled.  I have moments where time seems to stand still, but I try to stay positive and focus on school and being as active I can with my job and my students.  I'm praying the time continues to go this smooth.  I don't know when God will create THE baby that is meant to be MY child, but I know He's working on greater things.  Through prayers of patience hopefully I will keep my sanity until the time comes.

I hope everyone has had an amazing weekend!  I hope you have all made memories and done acts of kindness.  God bless!

Follow Me

Another weekend has came and gone.  Last week was our first 2 days back since being off for Christmas break.  This week we have to go a full 5 days and I know we will all be exhausted!  It's so hard coming back from being off an extended period of time and fall back into our 5 day work week.  It seems like it takes me forever to catch up on my sleep!

Nothing new on the adoption front.  We are still just waiting on our call.

"Operation Get Skinny" (aka my diet) has not been going very well over the holidays.  Since DH and I booked a cruise to Mexico the first week of April (our spring break) I'd really like to get serious about this losing weight business again.  Ultimately I'd like to be down 42 pounds before then.  I just don't know if that's possible.

For those of you who I have connected with over Blogger, I ask that you please "Join My Site" on the right of my blog.  I love blogging with you and reading your stories.  Whether it be a family who was created through adoption or a birth mother who found it best to gift her child the ultimate gift of a forever family I really do treasure the friendships I have formed through cyber space.  Please add me and I'll do the same!

I hope everything has a blessed week! :)

Welcome 2013

Another year has came and gone.  Another year of resolutions not quite fulfilled.  Another year of happiness, sadness, ups, and downs.  Through it all 2012 proved to be one for the books!

**Gains**
I learned a lot from the long relationship I was in.  I learned that the things in life I want may not be what someone else wants, but that doesn't make them any less valuable.  I learned that sometimes people just aren't meant to be together.  With this realization came opening up myself to start dating a wonderful man.  My husband and I have known each other for several years, but 2012 was OUR year.  I met someone who I connected with on a different level.  A "real" level.  We merged our paths, became husband and wife, moved into our new place together, began the adoption process and got homestudy approved and are now officially waiting on our child to come home.  Because of DH my 2012 had way more gains than losses.  Because of DH my 2013 is going to be amazing. 

I could go on and on with the things the Lord has blessed me with.  I have an amazing family, loyal friends, a support system like none other, wonderful colleagues, and a job I wouldn't trade for the world.  I have this blog that allows me to take a moment of down time and reflect on so many aspects of my life.  DH and I are looking forward to the new year and praising God for all things he has given us.  We are praying 2013 will be the year we receive OUR child.  I really want to get back into foster care and after the adoption DH and I are planning to start our classes to get that process rolling again.  We hope to purchase a bigger home to allow us to share our love with the children God sees fit.

2013 is going to be a big year!  Thanks to all of you who read this blog and support us on our journey! :)